I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize