trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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