"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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