I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
