just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
