If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
