something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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