why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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