Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
