Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
