you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
