So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
