I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize