if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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