Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
