Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
