whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
