I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
