the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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