would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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