I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
