playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
