im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
