College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
