I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize