They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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