so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
