He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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