So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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