You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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