Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
This toilet bowl is my home.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
