Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
