Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
