That's when you crack a 10am beer
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
