Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize