ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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