How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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