Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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