i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
