Got a toothbrush?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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