remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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