in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
