apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
