nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Are we still banned from the library?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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