I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
