so that wasnt chicken after all
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
