i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize