Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Even my vagina gasped.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
