I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
