I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
