hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
