Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
