I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize