drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just found puke in my bra..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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