so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
