Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
