my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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