I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
