So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
