Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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