You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
