I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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