ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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