As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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