I must be too annoying 4 u.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
