You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
