S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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