Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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