she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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