I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
