32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
