Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We are two peas in an std pod
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
last night I used snow as a chaser
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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