TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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