i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
