i already hear my dad disowning me
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize