everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
