And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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