And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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