My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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