love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
