I must be too annoying 4 u.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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