I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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