drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
