I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
