Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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