he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
