i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
