I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
