I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
