well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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