I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
