took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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