Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
