I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
